Admit day was fun. I woke up early and went to Rudolf's place at ERC. Should not have brought my bag and rice since we were going back to my place after a while!

Vaness, Rene, Ingrid, Christie, and other KP peeps showed up. Vaness, Ingrid, Christie and I went ahead in a little bit to the KP Office to get some rice. We took it back to my place and made rice. Rice is difficult! We spent a lot of time working the rice cookers, and trying to get the rice to cook! Jay's pot of rice was funny! I tried to click it to "cook," and it kept on going back to "keep warm," so that got it nowhere. When it finally stayed on "cook," I left for a little while, and when I came back, it didn't even cook! So, that sucked! Weird stuff like that. It was hard to make big bulks of rice since some parts don't cook right, so we tried to use the stove to fix that, and I think we did okay. There was one rice cooker that made really good rice!

Ingrid's cool. We talked a bit, and it's cool to work with somebody, even if you don't know them well, because you'll have to talk and that was cool. One funny thing was when she wanted to put a pot of rice back into the cooker, and I pointed at the one I saw in front of me, and she stuck it in and we like stood there for a sec and just paused! LOL Oh my gosh, the pot was bigger than the rice cooker! It like just stood there because it couldn't fit! LOL It was sooo funny at the time that you had to be there to see how funny and how we reacted to that! LOL I laughed so hard my stomach hurted! Janice came by later and did the same thing, but Ingrid and I got it, hehe, but it wasn't as funny to Janice...LOL that was funny, hehe

I saw the KP BBQ and hung out a bit. It was good, hehe. Jon's hair is black, and first thing I said was "who are you?" lol hehe, that was different.

I helped out with tabling. Oh yeah, I made some cookies earlier. Hehe, good stuff ;-) LOL Like the only things I know how to bake, hehe. I helped Aldrin and Ram table for a bit. Err, the rice threw me off my scheduling time, but that's okay.

I saw bunches of people I knew throughout! It was fun, hehe. Diem and Mary were helping with Marshall's Cultural Celebration, along with many others I knew!

Marshall's Cultural Celebration was dope. Lots of food and I tried a bunch. LOL hehe, money :-/ I hadn't eaten all that day, hehe. Wanted to get some Thai food, but TCC ran out, so I just got Thai iced tea. Hehe, there was this one vendor that was selling boba. I had three at different times. I don't like lychee much 'cause it's too sweet. The third time, they really screwed me because my whole cup was full of ice, and I should not have taken it and paid for it. Sheesh. That was soooo wrong! Yummy food. hehe.

I saw some performances, and PCC people were practicing at TMC tennis courts.

I saw Angeline every now and then, hehe.

I went to the CCC and watched some stuff there. I saw Janet perform on her Korean three drums dance/drumming thing, and that's always cool. Wow! Hehe, it's really neat. Saw spoken word stuff, singers, etc. It was great. Oh, some dancing, too.

Took home a pizza, and that was cool. Walked home with Sonnier, Tina, and Lizelle. They're cool, hehe.

Eh, when I got home, I just chilled since I was basically tired.

A friend of mine from back home accidently called me on the cell phone. I listened to the voice message, and it ran long as if someone dialed my number and I just heard the background noises. I called back thinking she called, but just asked how she was doing. I'm sorry to hear the sad news about a ferry boat in the Phillippines caught on fire and some didn't make it. :(



I had a really good day, but.... I called my mom up, and I guess that's enough to ruin my whole day. Seriously, if I could cry, I would be right now. I hate the way things used to be, how they remain the same, or how some things are the way they are. A lot of people go through a lot worse s*** than me, but some things are just so overwhelming. For those who say "that's life," know nothing about me.

Ideally, life is a balance between the good and the bad, the pleasures and the pain. My problem is that the latters are exceedingly greater than the firsts and continue to build into the purest, harshest, abyss of pain.

Unless anybody has experienced this and continues to go down more than they are going up, then no one has anything to say to me in terms of this. I am tired of hearing empty advice about things people generally don't know about. I'm tired of hearing generalizations from self experiences when they may barely connect to the degree of mine. Those are things I've already heard of, thought of, and blah blah. I'm impatient because I feel like I'm suffocating and I'm not getting anywhere.

If you can't change things, bear with it, make the best of it, and keep at it. Keep that in mind when reading the following to make the simple relation.

A lot of things are getting worse more than they are getting better or more than good stuff comes in. There is no fix to those things or otherwise I would've been okay by now. It's not the mentality that keeps things from getting better. It's almost a statement of fact. I still argue on balance. Generally, people keep going because they have a balance between the good and the bad stuff inspite of what they may claim now. It's a lot different when pain outweighs all things, and the good can barely move you from that. It's like those pains just stick to me and become a part of me that as I keep going, it becomes so painful to bear. The solution is not to alleviate the pains because the scars remain and hurt so much. While pain burdens the journey, I must go on. Pain will always be a part of me, and that cannot be rid of. That is why I seek for means of comfort and relief and pleasures to keep on moving and look forward to my destination.

I crave for the good things in life because I don't have enough of that to combat the bad. I starve, and so I hunger for them so much and moreso by the day each time something critically tears me down.

No one is suppose to understand that because if they do, they must have felt it, and it's a pity if they do because it's one of the worst feelings ever existing. With that, then hell is nothing to dread...