My life's a contradiction. This morning, if I were up to it, I could tell you all the good things that happened this night and how good the day went. One of my dilemmas is the contradiction between the good and bad experiences that perplex and confuse me. Of what makes my life feel so good are the little things I treasure so much that you don't even know. They mean so much more to me than anything in the world. The weight of the polar opposites are what pulls me down. The fact they are more dense and more quantified make such a reality so harsh. But for all the good things and good people in my life, it makes it all worth while. I am constantly battling to weigh the winning side for mere sanity.

My conflict is not the questions I pose to myself. I do not wonder why things are the way they are or why things happen to me in a particular way. I always wonder what I should do next. I have far accepted the way things are. To be content and to work with it is something entirely different.