Some aspect of my life has to work out. Everything seems to be declining. Rather than defining the various areas that represent some aspect of my life (like academic, social, business stuff, etc.), there’s a broader picture here. It’s difficult to function if things seem like they’re going downhill. If some arena were to be a success, then at least it would make up for the losses, that it would actually balance out.

The simplest way to explain it is that it has more to do with self-confidence. There has to be progress in some arena in order to stabilize the self. Though one arena does not make up for another, it is confidence production from one that could influence another even though both are not directly related.

If I am in the need of confidence, then I already know that. I just can’t have any unless something works. Otherwise it’s just false confidence, somewhat a lie to the self.

Then if I need confidence to work on something and succeed, yet I don’t have any, then aren’t I condemned to not succeed and not gain confidence? It’s ridiculously immobile though.

I won’t give up though. Aren’t I strong? I am strong. It’s just that as I move forward, keep on going, it gets heavier and heavier that I fear the burdens would crush me. If I have the tenacity to keep going, can my body handle the weight to which it was bounded? Here, confidence is a state of mind, but the mind is not the body to which carries the weight.