Well, math totally sucked. Not even all the coping techniques could get me over the fact that I went blank on the final and didn't even do a bunch of problems 'cause I totally didn't remember them. However, I did a few with like 80% confidence, but that's not even half, and for the ones I've attempted, ehh, that sucked. So yeah. I'm going to mope about it.

I saw Mike and Sei on my way back home. I dropped by Blockbusters to pay for one of my overdue fines and rent a few movies to help me mope. I rented L.I.E., King of the Jungle, and Resident Evil. I've seen RE, and the first two are independent films. L.I.E. was recommended to me, and in general, indepenedent films seem to be far more interesting than mainstream in terms of plot, characters, and especially themes. Take a look at my reviews . I'm going to try to keep them up. There's a lot of movies I might be watching, and it's such a waste if I don't reflect on them. Some are worth seeing I think, so I'd recommend them for anybody that's interested.

On Mentor David Tran:
I'm far away from the familiares--people, surrounding, etc--to college and overwhelmingly new situations and growth and development. The least I wanted from a mentor was to know I had a friend since there wouldn't be as many people to turn to, me being by myself here. More than the least would be to have a cool buddy to chill with and not even to talk about things that bother me, but to keep me off those things...to hang out and learn new things and meet new people and do fun stuff other than academics.

David's my first mentor, and one I hold highly about, and still do, in spite of many other things. I remember when we first met, probably on a Wednesday, at OVL at the first mentor/mentee event in which all of us were meeting each other for the first time. I remember the few people I began talking to, all nervous about the event as I was there early and didn't know who I'd be expecting. A few of the mentors arrived, and a few of them introduced themselves, and among them was David, Darwin, and Kevan. I met other mentees during that night like Chilan, Jen, and Anna, all in which I talk to every now and then, especially Chilan more now-a-days. I think we had pizza. I remember when we were first introduced, it was an icebreaker. We had a word taped on a sheet of paper on our backs, and we had to walk around the room talking to people and eventually finding our pairs. We had to talk to people and people can't tell us what's on our backs, but I think this was the one in which we could ask questions and they answer yes or no. I had the word "birds" on my back and then I think David had "bees", so that worked out. I got some candy tied in blue and yellow ribbon inside a blue plastic. I received a really cool frame, which has a really cool blend of blue to dark. We were also in a circle and we had a few minutes to chat with our mentor/mentee and get to know as much as we can. David recited a whole lot of facts about me from our talks, which impressed everybody since that was a whole lot given the little time we had compared to others (that's because we talked a bunch earlier). That was a really cool night. Oh yeah, before I had to go, I remember Kevan planning a mentor/mentee event. Movie night with the following Friday.

Movie night was cool. We went to see Corky Romano at AMC nearby. I think that was one of the first times I met Chilan, whose name I kinda keep forgetting and mispronouncing, which I'll talk about later on. Anyhow, Chilan and me rode in David's care to the movies, but I think we had to wait a bit, so we went to get ice cream. We went to Cold Stone, which I kept referring to as Stone Cold, and ehh. It was good since I've never had that before and it was neat how they made it. I remember how I kept reading up all the signs finding a good flavor for myself. LOL I think I settled for one of the special ones that had a brownie in it. We went to Rubio's nearby. Kevan got some food, I remember the chips and him offering and I was okay since I already had my ice cream, which David got for me actually. If I remember correctly, Darwin was sitting across from me closer to the window (we were outside), kevan to the right, and Chilan and the other girls (Jen, I think) on my left and perhaps on a different table. I think David was sitting next to Darwin, but then who was sitting to the right of me? Ehh, details are getting lost and distorted over time. There were some people that passed by that recognized some of the people at our table, and I recognized one of them to be one of my neighbors and actually in my chemistry class. I remember we were all talking and then I think I got quiet, not the only one, and sorta jolted, which I don't really know why that happens sometimes. Darwin sorta asked what that was and I was put on the spot, and I said it was the chills, not knowing exactly what it was and why it happens so often. anyhow..

The movie was really cool. It really was funny, andI had like a really good time. Now-a-days since I walk home past the same area or even shop around the same place, I keep thinking about that movie night. Probably don't think such a night was that eventful, but I do. Remember how I talked about cherishing the little things in life? I consider that one of the little things, and precious, too.

I guess I went over most of the details from what I remember, and not so much as the feelings. I felt really good and it was good to be out and do something other than cooped up at school. Not only that, but I was with good company, and I really enjoyed myself. Again, those are the little things I hold very dear, even more precious than diamonds itself. ("little things" are things I tend to emphasize a lot, so you've heard me or will hear me talk about them).

First quarter, I dropped two classes and ended up with two, and had the hardest time. I had a bunch of talks with people, like Jenni K, and David was one of my bigger supporters. To think of it, I kinda miss Jen now 'cause I don't see her often anymore as I did before. She's so busy. I remember I used to go to her place and just study since I couldn't at my own place. David was also one of the main people I talked to when I had troubles with my room mates. Contrary to his advice to make it work, I left the space that I felt uncomfortable at, which is not entirely at the fault of my roomies, but just how I felt overall considering stress at the time and words. I remember the talk on shyness before Thanksgiving break that he took the time to hang out since I'd be going home. Had coffee at Earl's place. Carmel, I think..iced. (hmm...i don't remember if that was it though 'cause carmel is also a flavour i get from roma's, so I wonder if i got confused?)

So, David's first impression to me has always carried as a good person. From my initial memories, they were positive and overall, will end up positive no matter what, or at least as far as I've seen as of now. I nominated Each One, Reach One for the activity of the month of October, but it didn't win. I wrote a whole lot of my positive experiences with my mentor and asserted the same with everybody else with theirs. However, it was mostly my positive experiences and not so much as a recognizable big Marshall event directly assessing the Marshall mission statement as much as the event that won. But that was cool. Actually, that's the first time I met Emily, my current roomie, and got to know Vicky better and saw Susan there a few times. I was writing in the cold outside 'cause I wanted to just drop off the nomination once I was done, but Vicky invited me after closing and said I could hang there anytime I wanted and stuff, and I wrote soo much on the nomination sheet. Oh yeah, David's a really cool, and I've always held that.

By second quarter and later on, he's gotten busy, and I've understood that. I took his advice to basically get involved and put myself out there, all in which we talked about sometimes during the winter break on AIM and alluded at first before Thanksgiving break. I tried to join up CSAP with my friend Moneek, but only ended up going to one meeting. Ehh, I tried to join up a lot of orgs. I got involved in KP and took up the officer position as soon as it was available. Actually, I took up "social awareness" because from the title and from what I've understood the position to be, there was a few particular goals I wanted to work on with that position in KP. That's another story actually. I joined up a Talent Show Committee with Moneek and Jeff Green. I wouldn't have done a lot of the earlier activities without Moneek, actually, since we've been cool back then. I don't know what's happened now though...Anyhow, David talked to me about heading a committee in talent show and I said I'd think about it, having the need to since it seems to be a big role, and initially I didn't want to, and then I joined up with Moneek and Jeff since that one was open. I had a lot of fun actually, and that's another story. I have David to thank for pushing me in my earlier days to think of it. He tried to get me into SIORC after Jenni Ko's position, but that was something I wasn't entirely familiar with at the time and wasn't sure if I could take such a big role, but to think of it, I think things might've been different. Then again, I wouldn't have been able to work on some of the things I did if I went through the course I just did.

Busy and stuff, don't get to talk or hang as much. Because there was no dialogue, I seem to look at it differently. I still don't get some things. We don't agree in many things, but also consider we've never actually talked much to make that assessment. In addition, I have a very different take in life, which appears to be much different than the ones I've observed. I don't need to talk about a lot of things or even address them. Back to what I've talked about the "little things" and the very least I needed was a friend or a buddy, and it's not so much as the time being spent doing stuff together, but just the knowing that I have a friend when there's no one else, even if I won't ever "spill," is the most comforting ideal to hold in terms of this. To the above mentioned, those were very much met.

It was my rougher times that I felt more alone and more hurt that brought me below way down, which had no bearing on him. Yeah, I have a different take in life and can't be or do a lot of the things that are given to me as advice. It's more than just difficult, but a radical change that cannot be handled. But the change can be gradual, and it what's being worked on so heavily, yet difficultly. I am not growing in the way I am right now...I am hindered and trapped within myself. For me, I pay very close attention to all the little things in life. Even if the bitter is given more than the sweet, it is the sweet I take in and hold onto moreso than the bitter, which I find wortwhile. My freedom is within the likes of sweetness of life rather than the entrapment in a bitterness in which I cannot grow. I am strong because I must be strong....yet it hurts so much each day and strength last only as much as one can give, and what one can give is only to how much one has taken, as taking in the foods that give one strength.

For a parent to have "gone wrong," a parent would abandone his/her child and think nothing more of it. There is no wrong in trying of what works or what does not work, just as long as there is faith and there is support. To Mentor David Tran's question of "am i being a good mentor" he asked a long while ago, the answer still remains a yes, and an even more positive yes than before.