I want to cry because it hurts so much. In my silence, I bear the pain, and it crushes all of me.

My cousin, Serge, aka Dodong, was in a serious car accident involving a semi-truck when he was on his way home. I heard from my sister this afternoon that he was in critical condition. They almost pulled the plug on him because he is brain damaged. He’s dying.

I write here because I don’t know who to talk to. He’s my cousin, and we’ve been pretty close even though he lives in Michigan. Every now and then, we talked on AIM and he used to call at random times. He’s visited California a few times since we have some mutual relatives. He’s been talking about coming here for Spring Break and check out the cool places here since he’s wanted to be here rather than Michigan. Some good times from the little time we hung out when they visited.

I just sit here now and wait for him to sign on, though he wouldn’t normally at this very second since it’s pretty late there. But I’d see him, read his away message, and see what’s up, and what not. I looked through old digital pictures and conversations we’ve had and it just hurt to think back at it, that this happened.

I’d give up my life if it would save his and to make him well. I would willingly lay down my life for those I love and respect. I’d give my life’s blood, and purge my soul in fire if that would bring them back. I am so powerless that I cannot be there and see him through, that there is nothing that I could do to make him well. It pains me, and this is agony for it is his life that slowly dies and this is mine that I’d sacrifice in a moment to save his, but all I could do is wait within days until I get the call that my cousin’s life has passed.